My sister and I -I was 13

Sometimes we can be our worst enemies. I once heard that to accomplish a goal, you have to have more than will power. You need true grit. True grit, is the ability to tough it out when the desired outcome seems impossible. Yet, it seems that if you could just hold on a little longer, it may just happen.

I can`t begin to explain how many goals I have set for myself that just do not come to fruition, because I sabotage myself. Either by allowing the events from the past define me or even words spoken to me create who I am today. Michael Jordan`s coach told him he was no good at sports. Madonna was told she couldn`t dance. Kids from the ghetto do not make it big. Have you ever heard of Jay-Z?

When I was 12, an English teacher in Puerto Rico had her daughter visit our class. The daughter started pointing to randoms kids and asking, “Tell me about him. Tell me about her.” In English. Mind you I didn`t start speaking English until the following year, so she thought the class didn`t understand what their presumed private conversation was. I understood everything.

She points at me and asks “What about her? She looks smart.” To what my teacher responded “She`s a clown. She will never amount to anything.” Verbatim. I remember how my heart sank. How I could hear my heart beat in my ears and the hurt it created. I just didn`t understand why she would say that.

I could let her words define me. I do have this need to make people happy and laugh. Yet, I am not a clown. Having heard those words, made me try harder. At everything. My competitive edge is sometimes my best character flaw. Notice the oxymoron. I like it and I would not trade it for anything, though it annoys some.

You see, I could make you laugh. Although, that is not my purpose. If only my teacher had only looked beyond the girl who entertained the whole class, and disrupted hers. Nonetheless, had she not said those words, would I try any harder?? Thank you for saying that teacher. Wherever you are.


Run DMC R&R Aceptance speech by yardie4lifever2

Amazing video. Listen to what Darryl says about not letting your circumstances define you and giving love to a child who needs it.
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5 Comments on Defining Yourself Beyond Your Circumstances

  1. Stephanie Suzanne ♥ Queen of Dreamsz
    August 3, 2011 at 6:53 PM (13 years ago)

    Hi Elaine,

    It’s true that words {negative or positive} can make us feel rejected or accepted. Physical plus emotional abuse set the stage for me as a young child. I’ve pulled myself out of that hole after many years of struggling with the past. I’ve finally found my self worth after being told so many times that I’d never do anything.

    The present day truly is a gift. We can tarnish it by dwelling on the yesterdays and the tomorrows yet to come.

    I think you are one of the most talented people I know and I’m glad that what that teacher said to you has allowed you to turn it into a positive for your life.

    Have a wonderful day,
    Stephanie Suzanne ♥

  3. Je m'appelle Cynthia
    August 5, 2011 at 12:48 PM (13 years ago)

    That is inspiring and I can’t believe a teacher would say such a cruel thing to anyone, and even more astonishing that she said it to you. You have accomplished many goals and are so talented. I wonder if that teacher will ever see this or know? It doesn’t matter. Your heart knows. You have amounted to so much. Your children and husband and family know. You are defined by your heart, your soul, your essence. Accomplishments big and accomplishments small – they all matter. Do ordinary things extraordinarily.

  4. Champagne Macarons
    August 6, 2011 at 2:59 AM (13 years ago)

    I’m sorry that you had to hear such a cruel statement from someone who was supposed to help you grow.
    You are so very talented and I’m happy that you didn’t let her words define you. You knew in your heart that what she said wasn’t true and you proved it.
    If only people knew the impact of their words, big or small.

    Wishing you a lovely weekend! xoxo, B

  5. Elaine Biss Designs
    August 6, 2011 at 7:42 PM (13 years ago)

    @Stephanie-I do know that pain, but what makes us different, you and I, is that we can turn that negative in to a positive and be fruitful. Thank you friend! I actually feel the same way about you!!

    @Cindy-Actually don`t think my teacher will ever know. She may even have already passed as she was close to retirement at that time. I do wish her well. And if she is alive, hope that she does see it.

    @Champagne-Thank you so much for your lovely words! XOXO

    @Hello Mr Lonely! Thanks for visiting!